baby, talk is cheap

Well the annual trip to my cottage is tomorrow morning so bad news: I'll be gone until next Saturday. Good news: I'll have lots of pictures!

I really needed this week, and I'm lucky I get to spend it with my family. Even my grandma, who drives me nuts ;)

This photograph represents the single most frustrating day ever. Not only did that JACKASS crash his way too expensive shitbox car, but he also prevented me from crossing the street to get to the bank/grocery store! Oh and he might have died, I dunno. But it was really HOT out, and my feet were sore AND some crazy drunk guy was all "what dddid you jus sayda me??" up in my personal spaces.

I didn't say anything.

God this is the worst day ever!!!! The only thing going right for me is that I had my camera.

"She'll get 4 prongs in her clavicle"

Ya ok Grey's Anatomy, you're really "street" .. It's like she's that psycho ex you never wanted to break up with because they'd cook your dog in an oven and set your car on fire. What a fucking weirdo. Like honest to god, the waitress complimented his HAT. Not "hey, you look like you have a big penis... wanna fuck me in the bathroom in 5 mins?" HAT. Ok, Ellen Crazy-Jealous?

Omg, seriously, if I didn't love this show... ugh! *angry face with teeth*
I heart everyone but her. I always have. Stupid puffy-lip squinty-eyes! I'd call her than to her face but, uh, she'd probably eat my face off. Then spit it out and go YOU WANT SOME, HUH? YOU WANT SOMMA THISSSSS?? Beating her chest and spitting out blood.

Tell me you can't totally picture that right now.

Anyone who watched Wife Swap last night will know what I'm about to say. This weirdo raw vegan lady (which isn't really that weird, but kinda crazy anyways) basically said she is "working on" perfecting this thing called Sungazing to cure world hunger. Basically you stare at the sun and the SUN gives you all the nutrients to feel full, replacing all need for food. The sun. Now, I don't know about flawed logic or anything but so I looked it up in the dictionary and this exact senerio was in there. Here I'll copy and paste it for you:

Flawed Logic: To believe the sun can cure world hunger, and yet there are numerous starving children in Africa... a place with lots of sun.

Seriously, so after I was done laughing at this poor lady I got pretty interested in how weirdo's spread their weird ideas... like maybe some key words to look for/avoid etc. I read and read but apparently no scientific evidence is needed to convince people to stop eating except for 1) saying that the Indians used to do it, and that it gave them super-awesome night vision! and 2) reminding everyone that we only use about 10% of our brains... and that being some sort of evidence that we are magical mystical creatures, capable of flying probably.

Yeah, I agree with that. We do use approximately 10% of our brains. SOME PEOPLE EVEN REMARKABLY LESS THAN THAT.

My conclusion after rearching Sungazing and Voo-doo (Scientology)... a few key words used to identify crazy people is NATURAL and VITAMINS. But mainly, I'd just avoid anyone who claims that the side effects of anything is that it cures everything. Even the skin cancer you might get later from the sun, ya, the sun could probably cure that. Oh and make you happy again....

I'm going to start making a list of sites that I can't believe exist. Number two on the list... the National Association of Black Accountants. What?

1. Brooke came over on Thursday. We drank too much. We shopped too much. It was fun.
2. Yesterday was a fucking bitch of a hot day. I was also slightly hung-over.
3. And hadn't eaten anything all day.
   
4. That means: My stomach felt like it was full of chum (yanno the rancid fishy shit they feed to sharks) and I was braindead all day.
   
5. I blacked out a few times in the midst of talking to people. Like badly. I couldn't remember the word compartmentalized. It was exactly like that episode of the Simpsons where Homer's brain goes "that's it i'm outta here.." *walks down the stairs and slams the door*
   
6. I'm pretty embarassed about that.
7. The house I want is ridiculously awesome. We saw it yesterday. I feel good about the agent. Moving in October, if everything goes well.
8. The owners have a very unique style. I liked 95% of it but honestly, what's with all the lizards?? Where do you even buy that stuff? "Yes this is a very nice lightswitch plate, but like, do you have any with lizards on it? I have a very specific theme going on in my house."
   
9. It also smelled great; even though that has nothing to do with the house at all. I'm going to ask what kind of air freshener they use. I HAVE TO KNOW.
10. The first weekend without my grandma giving me an anxiety attack = wonderful.
    

Kevin says:
i sunburn after about 3 minutes
Kevin says:
i have to wear SPF 4 for indoor lighting
Ann-Marie... says:
hahaha
Kevin says:
i wasn't being funny

YAY ITALY!!


Being a Sunday, I didn't get to celebrate really other than a glass of wine and a couple espresso's. My only encounter was on the way home, obviously people were going nuts with flags and running around the streets or whatever, but the most hilarious thing is when you looked in the rear-view mirror it basically looked like a bunch of Italians were chasing the car. It doesn't sound like such a good story but you kind of had to be there maybe.

Speaking of espresso, I was going to order this ice coffee thing and I'm standing there looking like a retard because I can't decide. In reality I can't figure out what the shit on the menu even means. So finally I just ask the guy who's been staring at me for my order (for a good long awkward 45 seconds) what is possibly the stupidest sounding question that's ever come out of my mouth.. "Uh can you tell me what's the difference between an icepresso and a chillate?" He paused for about 10 seconds. Uhh, umm.. "well, nothing, actually.. except one has more ice chunks." Proving my theory that coffee companies are determined to make me feel gay anytime I want to order anything.


I had a mocha chillatte by the way. You always want to mocha something.

I was looking for pictures for Maria's slideshow today and I found these. I forget what when this was exactly.. Nick was visiting me and we both though it would be the funniest thing ever to switch the names on pop machines in town. I miss Nick so I'm going to post these, & I'm pretty sure I haven't before.















I had no idea that Cock was $2.00... Hahaha. Sorry.

I'm pretty curious right now what happened when people saw it. Ahh random acts. We'll never know. If you're a police officer than I'm pinning this whole vandalism on Beth. She did it.

This weekend was great! All I did was hang out with my cousins, drink, eat cherries, have bad luck at resturants, take naps, talk weddings and have Alisia's famous caps/cappuch. My dad was really awesome and drove me home too :)

So two things I'm thinking right now.. maybe three.

1. I'm basically in love with Butter Chicken. Of course, though, it had to go ruin our love affair by being all BAD for you and shit. I'm utterly depressed about that. And I don't think I'll get over it. If you haven't tried it, you still should. Better to have loved and lost... blah blah blah
   
2. I'm researching Organic Foods (fruits, vegetables and meat) so if you have any input (mainly about the industry standards for being Organic/Brands/Online links to send me) I'd really appreciate it. My area has an Organic Market in the Park but I still wouldn't mind knowing where other locations are that people like to shop seeing as I'm moving soon anyways.
3. OMFG seriously would somebody fucking score for Italy, please? Come on!
   {Edit: Finally! Thank you}
   

And sort of a number four. Turning your PC into a Mac makes about as much sense as masturbating to pictures of your sister. Sure it might look good, but you're not fooling anybody... you're related! and it's wrong!!!